While I wrote this back in 2021, and I’ve certainly grown in many ways, the core of it still rings true so I thought I’d share it here.
Conviction.
Where would I be without God’s Holy Spirit sometimes gently, sometimes not, convicting me of my sin?
Right where I started. Wallowing in anguish, crushed beneath the weight of the world and my insurmountable sin.
Yet God in His kindness, mercy, grace, and love sent a Savior to lift that yoke from my shoulders and replace it with His.
His yoke, which is light and easy to bear and marks me as His beloved child.
Saved. Redeemed. Washed clean by the sacrifice of One Who knew no sin.
Alive because of the Resurrection of the Ever Living from a grave He did not deserve.
This verse reminds me that I have had the Grace of God poured out on me abundantly.
Should I not do likewise to all I encounter?
Did Jesus not demonstrate through His parable of the two debtors and the woman washing His feet with her tears that forgiveness and love are interwoven?
“For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Luke 7:47
If I love my children greatly, but I struggle to season my speech with grace towards them, am I really loving them?
Or am I just emotionally loving them? Am I just showing them affection when it suits me?
I genuinely struggle with this. I am a blunt and straightforward person who struggles with the conflicting views that God’s grace to me is the utmost showing of love while my showing of grace to others is a sign of weakness, apathy, or worse yet, an injustice.
We kind of joke that I am the steel hammer and my husband is the velvet hammer because he is much more gracious in his speech than I am.
Sometimes a steel hammer is needed and useful.
But often it is the wrong tool for the job.
I am jaded and rough around the edges, made so by a hard life and a deep sense of right and wrong.
However, I’ve been forgiven so very much.
And I want to love biblically.
So today {everyday, really} I pray this verse.
Sweet Lord,
Please help me to love with the grace you have given me. Help me to soften my tone and language. Give me the strength to feel weak and the true understanding that grace is not weakness, but true strength and love.
Amen.